Friday, July 27, 2012

FORGET.ME.NOT.

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WRITER: CYDNEY ALLEN
FOUNDER OF THE C.R.O.W.N Project
VIRGINIA

"The Forget Me Not Flower does not attract immediate attention; it is easy to overlook among larger and more vibrant flowers; yet it is just as beautiful, with its rich color that mirrors that of the bluest skies." - DIETER F. UCHTDORF

I know a lot of women feel this way, I even find myself feeling like I am not good enough and I don't make a difference but this is NOT true. I hope we do not FORGET how much we are actually given. Everyone has a vibrancy about them, everyone has something good to radiate. We need to learn to be our own best friend because we often fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. What is it within us as women that makes us fall into this trap? Why do we constantly compare? Why do we constantly have a battle within ourselves every morning? Why can we look at ourselves and say "HELLO BEAUTIFUL?"... we all are... so why not say it? Why not embrace the beauty within...the voice within? I am someone and I am loved.

These past few months I have really analyzed this question within myself and by watching others. I have come to some really interesting conclusions. I know not every woman in the world will read this but I hope at one point in their life... they come to the same thoughts and the same peace I have. It is not a perfect one because I for one am NOT perfect, but its a unspoken peace that you find that constantly comes in the right times and makes everything okay. I am someone and I am loved.


MYSELF:
My life has been full of ups and downs, joys and pains, comfort and growing pains but without those I would not be the person I am today. I have had heartbreak, emotional and physical abuses in relationships, I have had broken trusts, I have felt alone, I have had low feelings, I have had and still do at times have self esteem issues, I have had just about every normal thing a girl goes through in her life plus some. Being a woman is hard sometimes. You sometimes fall into the pressures of society and how you always need to be perfect and on top of your game. Every hair needs to be in place, outfits and accessories need to match, I need to be at a perfect weight, I need to shine with my talent and the list goes ON and ON and ON...It can sometimes gets tiring and frustrating. Throughout our lives as women I think we hit this point where you ask: WHERE IS MY WORTH? This is a hard question at times because where do you put the emphasis? Do I put my value in society and what they think I should be? Do I put it in the hands of others? Do I find it through God or do I find that for myself? Sometimes its a scramble of all the above.

SOCIETY: Society tells you beauty is in things that in the long run don't matter. They tell you beauty is being thin, being glamorous, being made up and having all the beautiful things of the world. Beauty is a prize to win, and you have to fight with everyone else for it. But let me tell you now, there is no good from that. At first it seems fun but it soon becomes a trap that clouds your mind and makes you believe things that are untrue. How many of us look at Cosmo or other media and compare? Things like this make you feel like you are not good enough no matter what you do. There is a level of unrealistic expectations that will control your mind and your life if you let it. How deep is that beauty? How deep does it soak into the soul and make the PERSON beautiful? let your light shine for the person you are...not for what society shallowly tells you. If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

HANDS OF OTHERS: Put your worth into safe hands- your own. I have come to realize for myself that I am no better than anyone else and no one is better than me 100%. When you let others dictate who you are and what makes you beautiful you start loosing pieces of yourself. THE REAL YOU. If you let your value and beauty sink into the hands of others... you will always be chasing to find it. People come and go ...so will your values and worth. FIND STRENGTH IN YOU and find people who love you for the good person you are.

FIND IT IN YOURSELF AND GOD: There is one beauty that I know that never dies. I see this beauty in those who truly seek for their inner truth and beauty and have come to terms with it. This is the greatest prize of them all. It is learning to accept yourself imperfections,flaws,shortcomings and all. The beauty that truly matters is in our mind, heart, soul,and the love we radiate. When you love what is inside you'll love your outside even more. "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." ~Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross.
When you learn to love yourself you will never have to run to find that security again. That peace and inner love is within you forever and you can always deepen it when you strive to see something good everyday.

I know not everyone is a believer in God but I want to share a story that has strengthened me. I knew a girl that was beautiful. She was athletic, she was funny and always made people have a good time when she was with them. She had a light within her that shone to others but for some reason she did not feel that flame. She compared herself to others and felt she was not pretty or skinny enough. She battled with eating disorders and would talk to me throughout the process. She told me that she never felt happy with herself and she was not beautiful. She was never satisfied and was lost. We all hear the saying well I think/see you are ____ and I wish you saw or understood that about yourself. This was one of those moments for me. I wish I could reach out to her and help her feel the comfort I have when I hit low points. I am one who has always been extremely hard on myself to the point where I question my worth and my beauty. I have had boys tell me I am not good enough and my self esteem has hit extreme blows. When things get bad and I question... I always have one person I can lean on who gives me my worth. That is Heavenly Father. I am his divine daughter and I matter to Him. I was created by Him and was made beautiful specifically by Him. He created me with a unique beauty that no one else has.I matter to Him and I am beautiful and worthwhile in His eyes. I have a wonderful family who loves me but they were forced to love me by birth haha but at the simplest level... I have a God who loves me and sees my value. I wish this girl had that simplicity and strength from that knowledge. She is a divine creation from God who has a plan and a value here on Earth. She is like no one else. She is someone and she is loved.

My life has been no cake walk. I have had bad things happen to me that should have shattered my worth and should have destroyed my love for myself but what good does that do to create GOOD in the world? I have come to realize that through the stability I feel with my self I can help other build their value and worth up. How beautiful is that?

WATCHING OTHERS:
I first want to start this section off with a poem I once wrote in my notes. I do not know the exact author but it is beautiful:
Please treat me well: I am as I'm treated
When I am loved, I can love who I am
When I am cared for, I can care for others
When I am treated as someone, I can feel like someone
Speak to me, so I might learn to listen
Expose the world to me, so I may see its beauty
Look into my eyes, so I may feel I am seen
If you are good to me, I must be a good person
When you smile at me, I can smile at others
When you let me make choices, I know I can choose
When you give to me, I can give back
Touch me gently, so I may touch others
Rest my unrest, so that I may learn self control
Soothe me, so I may learn to soothe
Love me, so I maybe love others
When you respect my dreams, I can explore reality
When you allow my mistakes, I can accept what they teach
Teach me diversity of thought, so I may be open minded
Help me help others, so I may grow to be selfless
Demonstrate your diligence, so I may earn my way of life
Show me how to laugh so I may laugh with others
Laugh at your shortcomings, so I may accept my own
I am someone and I am loved.

Each of us has a light, a light that can ignite other's flame. As a sisterhood throughout the world we need to work on this. Looking at this poem I wish these ideals were implemented more.
Lately I have seen how girls talk about and how they treat each other. Why are we catty? Why are we jealous? Why do we constantly compare and by doing that break down others? Womanhood is such a sacred and beautiful thing. We are given qualities that are caring, good and beautiful. Why do we not use it on each other?
I have recently moved into a neighborhood where this has really baffled me. These women are exclusive and are not very warm to new comers let alone make you feel loved and welcomed. We are all taught to love one another and to treat one another as you would want to be treated. I do not see this happen. Some women have moved out because they do not feel loved and accepted. These women are all married, so by saying that they should not have to compare and seek to be better than another woman because the only opinion that matters is their husband who LOVES THEM. Even not looking at my situation, listen to most women conversations about other women. We are constantly pointing out faults or reasons to make ourselves feel better at times. Do we do this so we can suppress our envy or insecurities? Instead of disliking or breaking down another girl who might be prettier or a better cooker ( or whatever) why dont we see her in a positive light? Instead of seeing her as a threat... why don't we see her as an enrichment...someone who can shape us to be better or to teach us something new? Women can help and lift one another. There is beauty we can pick up from each other , the beauty of learning and enrichment. Diversity is beautiful and there is always something we can pick up from other's. Create beauty don't destroy it with jealousy...you will never win and you will never shine.

In Conclusion,
There is something inspiring and simply beautiful about the little forget-me-not flower. Although it is small and a flower that is not too too favored or exciting it does bring a beautiful enhancement to an arrangement of flowers. It serves a purpose and it has its own unique beauty. No other flower is like it... it is beautiful just as we all are.
Just as much as we see in others we have in ourselves, we are all blessed with beauty, we just need to find it, cherish it and love it.

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