Friday, August 10, 2012



My name is Carly Calder. I am 21 years old. No body ever knew that growing up I had huge self-esteem issues. I was far from a size two. However, most of my friends were a size two or four. I constantly was comparing myself to my friends and the rest of the girls at my school. There was so many nights that I would cry myself to sleep because I hated the way that I looked. I had been on diets since the eighth grade. I had tried about every diet you have ever heard about. It wasn’t like I was lazy I played volleyball, basketball, and soccer in middle school. Then I played volleyball year round in high school. I ate less then my friends would. I would get so frustrated when I would see my best friend pound down two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and soda from McDonald’s and still could rock a skin tight dress.
I felt like no guys liked me. I was friends with a ton of guys but I couldn’t get a date to save my life. My guy friends didn’t help me feel any better about myself. One guy told me, “Carly, you would be perfect if you were just a little smaller.” I was talking to another guy friend about how my dad works out all the time and he told me, “You should start working out with him, it would be good for you.”

Every time I went jean shopping it would end in tears because no jeans ever fit me right. More than anything I just wanted to look like my friends! My mom took me to the doctor at the end of my senior year because she felt my weight gain was not normal for my age. The doctor diagnosed me with having Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which means I have cysts on my ovaries causing different side affects such as easy weight gain/difficult weight loss. For a few moments I was excited because there was a reason behind my weight. That joy was quickly ended by finding out other side effects of the disease: troubles getting pregnant and diabetes. Also all I could think about is that people aren’t going to know that’s the reason why I am fat.
My issues continued into college I always felt like the funny fat friend. The thing is no body ever knew that I struggled so much with self worth because on the outside it never showed. I made it seem like I was the most confident girl in the world but really I was dying on the inside.
It wasn’t till this last year that I took a real long hard look at myself and realized that even though I am not the average size I am still beautiful! I am a daughter of God! I have an amazing personality and anyone would be lucky to know me. I learned that I just have to own my curves! Any guy who doesn’t like them doesn’t deserve to be with me! This past summer I have been opening up about my past and trying to make other girls realize their true beauty. I still struggle from time to time but I just look in the mirror and tell myself you are beautiful, hot, and sexy!


  1. Carly, I have ALWAYS thought that you are strikingly beautiful. I hope you know that :) I think you are such an amazing person and I AM lucky to know you.

  2. Carly, you are one of the most beautiful girls that I know. I learned to be more confident of my image because of your example. When I was your roommate I always thought if Carly can pull it off and look stunning in that dress then I guess I can too. Thanks for boosting my confidence! :)

  3. Carly, my daughter-in-law struggles with the same problem. She combats the insulin resistance by carefully watching her carb intake. And--wait for it--in June she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, at age 25! Go to a dietician and learn how to eat right for your body--and I think you are beautiful. Hang in there! Good things are in store for you.

  4. Carly, wow. I am really glad I stumbled upon this. It was such a great read and I KNOW that so many can prosper from this. Your smile and spirit is contagious. Wouldnt mind getting the old Big Bear/Apple Valley crew together sometime. =) Hope all is well Carly.

    1. Thank you Mrs. Clark yea I have been working on those things! That is so exciting about your daughter's baby!
      Thanks Jake that means a lot! I miss you so much! We definitely need to have a get together! Let me know if you're ever in Idaho!