WRITER: KELLY ALLEN
I’m not sure when it started, but I have always compared myself. I never felt that I was good enough for anyone or anything. There were times that I didn’t even feel good enough around my own family; because the thought that I wasn’t good enough was that severe. It was this awful nagging feeling in the back of my mind that whispered I was being annoying or I wasn’t pretty enough or funny enough. Because of this constant self-doubt and the comparisons, I constantly struggled with acne and my weight. I simply did not feel comfortable in my own skin and I was so unhappy. Even though I tried to hide it with my bubbly and outgoing personality, I was miserable. I hated the way I let others treat me because I felt that was the treatment I deserved. I hated how I let myself feel that I wasn’t worthy or valuable to anyone.
I moved home for a few months to work where I started making changes in my life but I needed more, so when I returned to school in the spring I started seeing a therapist. Together we talked and analyzed. She helped me work through parts of my life that I struggled with so that I could see who I really was and get a glimpse at my true self: I am beautiful. I am talented and kind and unique and of worth and loved. Oh how I am loved. When I was finally able to understand this, I felt myself become more at peace and loving myself for who I was. It didn’t happen overnight but gradually I was able to become more at peace with my weight, with my features, my strengths and weaknesses. And it was probably one of the happiest days when I looked at my reflection in the mirror and genuinely loved the girl I saw. No she wasn’t perfect but she was special and beautiful in her own way and didn’t need someone else to tell her.
So if you dear readers have ever felt this way that you are not good enough remember this:
You are. You are good enough. Do whatever it takes to love yourself completely and exactly the way you are. This process of discovering self love is not easy, some days are better than others, but in the end it is so worth it.