LET.YOUR.LIGHT.SHINE

WRITER: STACY GROVER

OREGON 

Despite how I come across I am a very self-conscious person. I have always been very critical of myself, but put off that I am very confident and comfortable with who I am. I can remember to as far back as 5th grade thinking that I was fat and feeling embarrassed infront of my friends. Because my mom always struggled with weight I was always aware of how weight could have an effect on relationships. I grew up believing that if I weren’t skinny then boys wouldn’t like me. I have been doing diets since middle school hoping that I would be able to lose weight and attain the body that I had always hoped for.

In college I was taking a psychology class where we were discussing the difference between self-worth and self-confidence. Often the two terms are used interchangeably but they are actually very different. Our self-esteem comes from what we think of ourselves based off of experiences that we have had in life, and what we believe others perceive us to be. Self-worth on the other hand is what we are to God, and that can never change. We are his spirit children, whom he loves unconditionally. Nothing we do in this life can change the fact that we are his children, and that he will always want us to return to live with him, no matter what we have done, no matter what we look like, fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, brown, etc. Understanding that I am unconditionally loved by a perfect father has helped me to shift my paradigm of how I view myself. 

I would like to say that I have completely overcome my feelings around the need to be skinny in order to be loved by a man, but I sometimes still feel that fear. When I do I try to do my best to strengthen my relationship with Heavenly Father because I know that his love can give me the confidence I need. I also like to read inspirational quotes. One that I really love is this: “I am not fat, I have fat, the way I look does not determine who I am, nor my worth.” It is important to understand that everyone has issues with their confidence, but if we let our light shine through we will be beautiful no matter what!